Featured post

Are You a Rude and Disrespectful Cell Head?

Definition of a Cell Head:

noun
  1. short for cellular head or empty head

(1)  A person obsessed with his cell phone.

(2)  A person who lives with his eyes or ear glued to a cell phone

(3)  A person with a stronger relationship with his cell phone than with people

(4)  A person whose life is dominated by his cell phone

(5)  A rude and disrespectful person

If you are guilty of any of the following 10 cell phone behaviors you are a CELL HEAD.  Your use of your cell phone is often RUDE and DISRESPECTFUL:

  1. You are rude and disrespectful if you use your cell phone at the dinner table;
  2. You are rude and disrespectful if you use your cell phone in a restaurant while dining with others;
  3. You are rude and disrespectful if you constantly check your cell phone for new messages in the presence of other people;
  4. You are rude and disrespectful if you use your cell phone to message, text, tweet, or surf the web while visiting in someone’s home;
  5. You are rude and disrespectful if you use your cell phone in your car to message, text, tweet, or surf the web while stopped at a traffic light and it causes you to hold up traffic when the light turns green because you are not paying attention;
  6. You are rude and disrespectful if you use your cell phone to message, text, tweet, or surf the web in a movie theater during the movie;
  7. You are rude and disrespectful – but primarily disgusting – if you use your cell phone in a public restroom while sitting on the pot or standing at the urinal;
  8. You are rude and disrespectful – as well as obnoxious – if you carry on a cell phone conversation while walking down the street. walking in the mall, or doing your business in a public restroom loud enough for those around you to hear;
  9. You are rude and disrespectful if you use your cell phone while engaged in a face to face conversation with another person.  Few things are more rude or disrespectful than having a conversation with someone and in mid-sentence or story they take out their cell phone to check for messages; and
  10. You are rude and disrespectful if you cannot turn your cell phone off, leave it in the car, leave it in your purse, or place it on silent when visiting or engaged in a conversation.  Instead of being RUDE and DISRESPECTFUL, why not pleasantly surprise everyone and join the conversation?  It might surprise you to discover all the endless calls and messages that titillate and inspire your life will be waiting for you after the visit to grandma’s house or the face to face conversation with a friend.

My Advice to Cell Heads:

  1. People first – Cell phone second!
  2. If dealing with a major emergency or health issue that you must closely monitor by phone, let people know, put your cell phone on silent/vibrate, and excuse yourself politely to take a message when it buzzes. Other than that, turn your phone off and forget it for a few minutes while visiting in someone’s home or engaged in face to face conversations;
  3. Always be present for the people you are with by focusing on them rather than someone floating in cyberspace;
  4. When you enter a public restroom, put your cell phone away while doing your business. When finished with your business, wash your hands before reaching for your cell phone unless you don’t mind nasty toilet microorganisms transferred from your hands to your phone to your face;
  5. If your cell phone is the first thing you hold in the morning and the last thing you hold at night, you have a problem.  GET A LIFE!

People, there is no other way to say it . . . .

IF YOUR CELL PHONE TAKES PRIORITY OVER PEOPLE (especially family and friends), YOU ARE A RUDE AND DISRESPECTFUL CELL HEAD!

You have the power to control your cell phone!  Of course, if you are a CELL HEAD, the cell phone controls you.  IT’S A CHOICE!

If someone must play second-fiddle for your attention, it should be the person on the other end of your cell phone.  There is an old adage that says “Love the one you are with!”  So, why not start a new one that says, “Be attentive to the one you are with!”  Who knows, with a little more personal interaction, we might actually break down some of the barriers, such as HUMAN DISCONNECT, that plaque our world.

JL

©Jack Linton, August 31, 2018

Advertisements

Saturated and Burned Out

The congregation squirms uneasily, but not so much from the preacher’s words as a tired tailbone.  Including announcements, offering, prayers, music, and the ongoing blistering sermon, the Sunday morning service is approaching ninety minutes.  Brother David has made his point at least six times and has started on round seven.  Hungry stomachs are growling.  Exhausted brains are begging, “Please shoot me – enough is enough.”  It is time to stick a fork in the congregation, they are done!

Unless you have been chastised relentlessly by an ordained Southern fire thrower waxed in the glow of the Holy Spirit, you know nothing of long-winded preaching.  If your eyeballs have not bobbed and surfed the tides of the second Great Flood in hour two of a Southern sermon, you know little of praying for deliverance.   Unless you have the t-shirt, Saturated and Burned Out, you are not a survivor of a soul cleansing hell, fire, and brimstone tongue lashing.  I grew up in a Southern Baptist Church – I have the t-shirt!

Why does it take preachers so long, especially in the South, to say God loves you and if you can’t accept that, prepare for an eternity in a rotisserie oven?  Why does the preacher feel compelled to make his point multiple times when once maybe twice should be enough?  The answer is simple – once or twice is not enough!  Southern DNA makes massive doses of overkill a necessity.  No one – not the preacher or Jesus Christ can tell a blue-blood Southerner what to do and expect to get it done – at least not the first or second time.

Growing up in Mississippi, my family was in church every time the doors opened: Sunday School, Sunday morning service, Sunday evening worship, Monday evening Royal Ambassadors, Wednesday night Training Union, two weeks of summer Vacation Bible School, and two weeks of fall revival meetings.  My pastor, a devout man, preached long fiery sermons with a vengeance against the evil he saw in the world or he inferred from the scriptures.  Like his sermons, he was intense, unwavering in his crusade against Satan and his followers.  His prayers, he called them mini-sermons, were rhythmic sing-song dances of thanksgiving laced with healthy doses of pleas for mercy culminating with skin-curling warnings of fire and damnation for anyone not walking the walk of Jesus Christ.  In a church of maybe one-hundred members with regular attendance of sixty or seventy, people walked the walk, or at least, we did around Brother David.

Before cable and Internet, there was little to compete with church on Sunday.  People literally had nothing better to do than go to church.  So, it didn’t matter if Brother David raged from the pulpit for two hours or Deacon John’s prayer bounced here and there for twenty minutes before he asked for God’s mercy and healing and said “Amen.”  It was the best show in town – take it or leave it, and if you lived at home with mama and daddy, there was no choice but to take it.  The only negative was church ran long – really long – and lay waste to the best made plans for Sunday lunch.  As a boy, I often witnessed parking lot grumblings and short straw lotteries to decide who would tell Brother David to buy a watch, but to my knowledge, no one ever said a word to him.

Brother David did not need a watch.  He was determined to convert every soul in his congregation to Christianity, and to that end, a watch did little but get in his way.  He understood there are only two ways to convince a Southerner to do something: you convince him it is his idea, or you scare him into doing it.  Both take time – a lot of it!  A Southerner is inherently born with the notion that everything is his idea, so convincing him an idea outside his own is his idea is extremely difficult.  In his mind, he is the center of the universe, and the only worthwhile thoughts or ideas are his own, so why listen to anyone else?  Therefore, most preachers opt for scary motivation.  To bring their people to the Lord on their knees, they scare the living hell out of them.

In the South, preachers who dwell on death, graves, and things that go bump in the night usually have little trouble preaching to full houses.  Southern boys and girls are as brave as they come but talk about something dead they didn’t shoot while hunting, especially if that something is them, and they get creeped out.  A smart preacher uses this to his advantage.  To keep his flock coming to church regularly and dropping a few bucks in the offering plate periodically, he cultivates fearful uneasy souls.  The only drawback is such a process is time consuming, especially with laidback Southern temperaments.

For this reason, Brother David set the pews on fire.  He ignited a flame of urgency under his people fueled by hell, fire, and brimstone.  “The fires of hell are full of Christians who do not go to church and tithe regularly,” he scolded his congregation Sunday after Sunday.  He brewed a pot of fear seasoned with doom and gloom.  He pounded the podium and walked the pews warning of human barbecues while teasing his congregation with firefly bits of hope he promised would grow if they attended church regularly and tithed generously.  He scared the hell out of his flock, and he did not care how much time it took to do so.

Brother David has long departed this world, and his brand of hard-ball preaching has given way to holy roller spectacles and preaching almost exclusively the love of God rather than offend or upset anyone with the rage of a jealous God.  However, to this day, his practice of battering congregations into holy submission is alive and well in many churches across the South.  Many pastors still tend to be long winded with little concern for rumbling stomachs, but is it necessary?  Why can’t they say what they need to say, and be done with it?  Why must they repeat themselves at least seven times before they give up the ghost and take a seat?  The reason boils down to Southern DNA and the Rule of Seven.

There is a pinch of a boiled peanut shell in Southern DNA that makes good ole boys and girls a tad thickheaded, or maybe, decades of wearing tight fitting baseball caps twenty-four hours a day has resulted in hardening of the skull.  Whichever it might be, a preacher best repeat himself often if he wants to get a point through dense Southerner heads.  The more a Southerner hears something the better the chances it will sink in and the more likely he will believe it.  Researchers in Atlanta, Georgia have found there is a direct correlation between Southerners reacting positively and badgering.  They discovered if you tell a Southerner something once, he might not hear you; tell him twice and he might think you are talking to someone else; tell him three times and he will try to tune you out; tell him four times and he will think you are trying to cause trouble or mess with him; tell him five times and it agitates him; tell him six times and he becomes passively interested; but if you tell him seven times, the chances are good he will not only remember it but believe it as well.  This process known as the Pester into Slow Submission Technique or PISS Technique is a strategy used by Southern women for countless decades to manipulate their men, and with the assistance of WMU (Woman Missionary Union) groups, early Southern preachers learned to use this same badgering or nagging technique to get through to their congregations.

In the Twentieth Century, the marketing world adopted the PISS Technique and called it the Rule of Seven, which is nothing more than a modern makeover of the old Southern recipe.  The Rule of Seven states people, especially men, must hear something at least seven times before they remember it, accept it, or engage in it.  It works great; however, if the preacher is not careful, a disgruntled congregation is capable of mutiny, especially if the Methodists and Catholics are regularly beating them to Mary’s Cafe or KFC for Sunday fried chicken.

The real danger though occurs when desperate preachers, experiencing a decline in attendance and tithing, change the rule to the Rule of Seven X 3.  This well intentioned though controversial practice means sermons and prayers include three times the number of repetitive keywords and phrases than the standard Rule of Seven.   According to the medical community, such an overload can be unhealthy for church-goers.  Doctors specializing in Devout Hypertension Syndrome warn that such practice can result in compulsive absenteeism and static tithing as the result of Repetitive Sensory Overload (RSO).

There are people who will argue that within the fleeting time continuum of life none of this really matters, and maybe, they are right.  A Southern prayer may be as long as a television sitcom, and a Southern sermon as long-winded as a two-day hurricane, but what if they are?  Do Christians have more important things than church on Sunday?   A prayer or sermon in the hands of a well-trained articulate Southern stump jumper can be an artistic marvel of rhetoric steeped in the juice of bread and butter pickles and sweet tea; isn’t that worth a tired tailbone or a table with a window at Cracker Barrel?  But, I admit, at times I also grow weary and impatient.  Sometimes, I wish there was an off switch under the front lip of the pew to push to let the preacher know the time has arrived to shut up and go home.

Saturated and Burned Out!

JL

©Jack Linton, September 16, 2018

911 – The Fountain of Unity

As we remember the horror of September 11, 2001, it is important to recognize belief in the preeminence of one human being over another remains a threat to our nation.  The difference is today the monster is not only external but internal as well.  We have forgotten how we rallied together as one in the days after the senseless attack on New York City and the Pentagon.  We have forgotten how for a brief moment we stood together as brothers and sisters and defied evil.  No American was superior to another on that day or in the days that followed; all Americans drank from the same fountain of unity.

As we remember and say a prayer for the lives lost on that tragic day, let us not forget to say a prayer for ourselves.  From the ashes of 911, America found itself briefly, but lately, we have lost ourselves again.  To have differences of opinion is common; to debate those differences is healthy; to be unwilling or incapable of working through those differences is foolish and dangerous.  We should not be a nation ruled by hate and mistrust or divided by conservative and liberal ideas, religious beliefs, lifestyle choices, or racial tensions.  As a nation we are united by a Constitution, philosophy, common sense, and decency that says all men and women are created equal and have the right of expression and personal pursuit of happiness.  In America, to believe otherwise is oppression.

The destruction of the Twin Towers in New York City is a reminder of the destructive power of hate and a warped sense of superiority.  It is a reminder that such evil can bring the greatest of nations to its knees.  It is time we drink from the same fountain of unity once again.  It is time we tear the tags, labels, and dialogue of division from the fountain and welcome all to drink – if not for our sake, for the sake of our children and the future of America.

May God bless America and the freedom and shining good she represents for all people.

Jl

©Jack Linton, September 11, 2016

How to Deal with Harassing Phone Calls

One of the most annoying things about modern day life is the constant bombardment of unwanted calls to our cell and home telephones.  Telephone solicitors call day and night.  They have little, if any regard, for personal privacy, but in today’s world, that is not surprising.  Our lives are anything but private.  In fact, most of us are guilty of privacy suicide.  Daily, we toss intimate details about ourselves to the wind via social media windows such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.  As a society, we readily lay our lives open to the world, so why should a few invasive telephone calls bother us?  It’s simple – it is one thing to open your front door of your own free will and invite someone inside, but it is entirely different when someone uninvited tries to slip in your backdoor by hook, crook, sham, or scam.  When the phone rings at 8:00 p.m. and it is John from The Save a Duck Foundation, how do we know John is who he says he is or if he is just another jerk trying to separate us from our hard-earned money?

On average, I receive at least ten to twelve unsolicited phone calls daily.  Callers have informed me my home computer is sending malicious code, I have been threatened the IRS will arrest me for delinquent taxes if I do not go immediately to my bank and forward money to the caller, callers have asked for donations for WOWA (Worn Out Wrestlers of America) as well as every other charitable organization known to mankind, and it doesn’t stop there!  I cannot count the number of unsolicited calls I have received for insurance, medical relief, political surveys, and save the squirrel campaigns.  It is mind boggling the schemes these modern-day bandits devise to get my personal information or inside my pocketbook.  I have placed my name on a “No Call” list more than once, but I have come to believe the service is little more than a cruel hoax.   It does not provide relief!  If anything, the harassing calls seem to increase after I place my name on the list, so what is the use!  As a result, like so many people, I am terrified to answer my phone for fear of another dip wad scam. sales pitch, petition for donations to help aging poodles, or a thinly veiled political survey.  However, lately, I have started answering my phone again, especially if I am in the mood for a little fun.  Believe me, there is fun to be had if you know how to deal with telephone solicitors.

What to do When a Marketer or Scam Artist Calls:

  1. Answer the phone and get sucked into the sales pitch or scam: If you are this gullible, you are probably the benefactor of millions of dollars that a Nigerian prince reserved in your name in a bank vault off the coast of a lost South Pacific island, and you are too busy counting your money to be concerned about harassing phone calls;
  2. Rip out all telephone landlines, and drown cell phones in the toilet: This is probably the best solution of all, but few people in today’s world can survive without a phone glued to their ear;
  3. Don’t answer: Not a bad idea but be sure to change your ringtones to something you can tolerate since whatever ringtone you choose will be perpetually ringing, singing, and hooting.  In a “no answer home,” earplugs should be mandatory for all family members;
  4. Pick up the ringing phone, and if you do not recognize the number hang up: There is a bit of satisfaction and pleasure in doing this, but it doesn’t seem to reduce the number of harassing calls at all.  If anything, now that the caller knows you are home, he often calls back within minutes.  Also, any time you answer and hang-up, your phone number is placed on a “This is a Live One” list for eternity;
  5. Pick up the phone and start breathing heavily, make clucking sounds, or yell, “Mom, we are out of toilet paper! This is the third time we have used this roll!”  The unwanted caller usually hangs up immediately, but if not, add, “Can you hold a moment while I wipe?”
  6. Answer the phone and have a little fun by wasting the caller’s time. [SEE conversations at end of blog]: This is one of my favorites.  It seems to slow down the number of harassing calls, but more important, it is heart warming to know you have wasted the time of a shameless phone solicitor.  I encourage everyone to tape a list of worthless questions to ask phone marketers to your landline or to the back of your cell phone.  The goal is to make the call as unpleasant and unproductive for the caller as possible.  Waste the caller’s time like he is wasting yours.  Strive to make the time-bandit hang up first, which he will most certainly do if you follow these three simple guidelines:  (1) Answer anything a phone marketer says with a question, (2) Never give a straight answer or confirm anything, and (3) interrupt the marketer every chance you get.  Follow these simple guidelines, and you will be amazed at how fast you begin to look forward to answering harassing phone calls, so you can harass the caller; and
  7. Always play by these five rules:
    • Do NOT play the caller’s game – control the conversation;
    • Do NOT cooperate with the caller.  Remember, the caller is not your friend;
    • Do NOT lose your temper or curse. Losing your temper and/or cursing does nothing but raise your blood pressure.  If you get so annoyed or frustrated you must curse, hang up – you have lost control of the game;
    • Remember, they called you – you did not call them!  Your space has been invaded to enable a stranger to make a buck off you or manipulate your time.  Time is money for these people, so waste as much of it as possible; and
    • Never agree to payments of any kind over the phone. With charities, you never know who you are talking to, so ask them to mail you information if you are interested.  If they are legit, they will do so.  Even if a solicitor and his cause sounds legit, the chances are good he is a fraud, so beware.

I hope you find a way to turn the tables on the phone pests.  Better yet, I hope you have a little fun at their expense.  You might as well since it is doubtful they are going away anytime soon.  Give them hell but be nice!

JL

©Jack Linton, August 18, 2018

 

The following conversations are examples of what a conversation with a phone solicitor might sound like if you decide to have some fun.  Ninety-percent of the times I engaged a phone solicitor in one these conversations, the caller hung up on me, and one-hundred percent of the time, I had a blast doing it:

CONVERSATION #1:           [Pretend you are a two-year-old, and ask “WHY?”]

Caller:             I call for Mr. Jack.

Me:                 This is he.

Caller:             Mr. Jack, can confirm you live at _________________?

Me:                 Why?

Caller:             Uh . . . Sir, I need confirm I talk to Mr. Jack.

Me:                 Why?

Caller:             Must confirm for security.

Me:                 Why?

Caller:             Both our security, Sir.

Me:                 Why?

Caller:             Must confirm. Law require.

Me:                 Why?

Caller:             Sir, must you say why?

Me:                 No.

Caller:             Thank you.  May we continue?

Me:                 Why?

Caller:             Uh . . . Sir, your computer send malicious signal.

Me:                 Why?

Caller:             Uh . . . uh . . . We identify malicious content.  If open computer and follow my instruction can correct problem.

Me:                 Why?

Caller:             Mr. Jack, you not cooperate?

Me:                 Why?

Caller:             Do you wish to speak to supervisor?

Me:                 Why?

Caller:             We may report to Microsoft authorities.

Me:                 Why?

Caller:             [muffled voices]

CLICK and dial tone  – YOU WIN!

 

CONVERSATION #2:           [Be uncooperative!]

Caller:             I call for Mr. Jack.

Me:                 This a Mr. Jack.

Caller:             Can confirm you live at _________________?

Me:                 No.

Caller:             Uh . . . Sir, I need confirm I talk to Mr. Jack.

Me:                 Who did you call?

Caller:             Mr. Jack.

Me:                 I answered, so you have confirmation.

Caller:             Uh . . . okay . . . Sir, your computer send malicious signal.

Me:                 Really!?  What kind of malicious signal?

Caller:             That why I call.  We identify malicious content.  Will correct if open                                         computer and follow instructions.

Me:                 I don’t have a computer.

Caller:             Uh . . . Yes Sir, you do.  We receive signal.

Me:                 Are you calling me a liar?

Caller:             No . . . no . . . I need fix computer.

Me:                 I don’t have a computer.

Caller:             You have computer.  We receive signal.

Me:                 You can’t.  I don’t have a computer.

Caller:             Sir, I try to help.

Me:                 If you want to help, hang up.

Caller:             First, we fix computer.

Me:                 I don’t have a computer.

Caller:             We get signal.

Me:                 Have you checked your computer?

Caller:             No.

Me:                 Maybe you should.  I don’t have a computer.

Caller:             Sir, would you like speak to supervisor?

Me:                 Yes, put him on.

Caller:             One moment please. [muffled voices]

                        CLICK and dial tone

[A couple of times a supervisor or someone playing the role of a supervisor has picked up the call]

Supervisor:     This is Bombo Ahlalli.  Mr. Jack, I understand you have problems.

Me:                    I don’t have problems.  You called me.

Supervisor:     Sir, your computer in violation of Microsoft policy.

Me:                    What policy is that?

Supervisor:     Policy against malicious virus or malware threats.

Me:                    Does that cover malicious phone calls as well?

Supervisor:     Sir, we are most legit.

Me:                    No, you are not.

Supervisor:     Yes, we are.

Me:                    Not.

Supervisor:     We are!

Me:                    Not.

Supervisor:     Why not cooperate?

Me:                    Why not hang up?

Supervisor:     Why not you hang up?

Me:                    You called me.  It would be rude if I hung up.

Supervisor:     Sir, you waste time.

Me:                   I am lonely.  I have plenty of time.

Supervisor:     [muffled voices]

Me:                   What would you like to talk about?  I have all day.

CLICK and dial tone   – YOU WIN!

 

PHONE CONVERSATION #3:        [Interrupt, Interrupt, Interrupt!]

Caller:             I call for Mr. Jack.

Me:                 This is he.

Caller:             Sir, I am . . . .

Me:                 I hate to interrupt, but how is the weather where you are?

Caller:             Sir?

Me:                 The weather.  It is hotter than Hades here.

Caller:             The weather hot here as well.  I would . . . .

Me:                 I feel your pain.  Have you seen any good movies lately?  That is a good way                          to stay out of the heat.

Caller:             No.  I call to . . . .

Me:                 I hate interrupting, but I am so glad you called.  My wife is shopping, and I                            don’t have a soul to talk to today.  I bet you make a million calls a day and                              don’t have that problem.

Caller:             Sir, may I say why call?

Me:                 You like harassing people.  That’s why you call.

Caller:             I no harass people.

Me:                 Is this the best job you can find?  I bet your mama is so proud.

Caller:             Sir?  [muffled voices]

Supervisor:     Mr. Jack, so sorry.  Our agent seems to have problem communicating.  We                           call about your computer?

Me:                   I bet you are calling on behalf of Microsoft?

Supervisor:     Yes, we . . . .

Me:                   I really appreciate the way you guys keep calling to remind me my                                          computer is doing awful things.  One of these days, I might have to take                                  you up on your offer, and I’d do it today, if I wasn’t so absolutely sure you                              are running a scam.

Supervisor:     This no scam.

Me:                    Sure, it is, and you should be ashamed.

Supervisor:     I may notify Microsoft authorities if no cooperation.

Me:                     Report away, but in the meantime, do you mind if we talk sports?  What                                do you know about sumo wrestling?

CLICK and dial tone – YOU WIN!

Choose a conversation and put it into action the next time you receive an unwanted telephone call.  It is time we start taking back our homes!

A New School Year: What Teachers Should Consider

Another school year is on the horizon.  Teachers are cramming in last minute vacations, working in their classrooms, and enjoying their last few mornings to sleep late.  After five years of retirement, I get a little nudge of envy this time of year when I pass schools and see teacher cars in the parking lots and coaches readying their practice fields.  Miles of bulletin board border stretches through schools across the nation as teachers take great pains to build “Welcome Back to School” displays.  Coaches scramble to ensure ice machines are working for the 100-degree plus heat indexes they will encounter in August and early September, and the excitement grows as band and cheerleaders roll out new shows and skits for football half-time and pep rallies.

Do I miss it?  HELL NO!  Global warming has so dismantled this old body, I wouldn’t last five minutes under a Mississippi sun in mid-August.  As for bulletin boards, I was one of those coaches who used the same bulletin board for sixteen consecutive years.  The school librarian or a lady teacher who felt sorry for me would help me change the border once or twice a year, but that was the extent of my bulletin board creativity.  No, I don’t miss the heat, the prep, or the job at all, but I do miss the kids and the people I worked with for so many years.

Since retiring, I have kept my distance from the school house, but at the beginning of each new school year I raise my head just high enough to offer a little advice to teachers.  During thirty-seven years as an educator, I learned a thing or two about the profession.  I learned the hard way through stubbornness, luck, trial and error, and from people a lot smarter than me that there are certain practices and principles that can make a teacher’s job a little less stressful and help them feel less alone.  YES, I said less alone!  Although surrounded daily by big and little people, teachers are in many ways engaged in the loneliness job on earth.  Often, they feel like they are swimming alone in a sea of negativity shackled by lead expectations and mandates few understand and fewer can explain [differentiated instruction in a classroom of thirty instantly comes to mind].  So, if I can offer a tidbit or two that might make a new or veteran teacher’s day a little better or prolong a career, I feel justified sharing the little I know.  Therefore, from the shadows of retirement where retirees become better teachers and administrators with each passing day, I offer the following advice, support, and consolation:

What Every Teacher Needs to Consider

  1. Teaching is not about delivering seeds; it is about planting, cultivating, and harvesting;
  2. Never sell your students or yourself short. Prepare for class, teach in class, and hold students accountable in class;
  3. Teach like you want your children to be taught. If you are not okay with your child’s teacher giving less than his/her best in the classroom, don’t settle for less than your best when teaching someone else’s children;
  4. Don’t worry about your pay. There is nothing wrong with wanting a pay raise but be thankful for what you have.  You signed a contract saying you were willing to work for a certain amount of money, so work for it.  The time to be unhappy with your pay is before you sign on the dotted line.  Kids don’t care how much money you make, and in the classroom, there are more important things for a teacher to worry about than a paycheck;
  5. If you would rather be somewhere other than the classroom, do yourself and the kids a favor and be somewhere else – preferably not in teaching;
  6. Worry only about the things you can control, pray about the things you might can influence, and don’t waste your time or breath on what you cannot control;
  7. Understand you will never be fully appreciated for all you do as a teacher. Don’t waste time or sleep worrying about it.  Refer to #6 when negatives get you down;
  8. Politicians are not your friends. Parents are not your friends.  Students are not your friends.  If you need a friend, or someone to be there for you when things go south, look in the mirror or look to your family;
  9. Although teaching days can become long and tedious, DON’T look for excuses to show movies, assign busy work, or allow free time in class! Very little if any student learning takes place during such lazy stagnant activities.  Teaching is about learning, and teachers have a limited amount of time to make learning happen.  DO your job to ensure students have a fair chance to learn in your classroom.  Students have greater respect for teachers who follow this practice;
  10. Be proud to be a teacher. Stand tall in the knowledge you are smarter, more courageous, thicker skinned, more loving, and more resilient than 90% of the population.  The other 10% are retired school teachers;
  11. Remember of all the professions God could have chosen for his son, he made him a teacher, so remember, as a teacher you represent the best of the best. You stand in elite company; and
  12. The best you can hope for in life is to have more good days than bad. Teaching is no different.

Finally, probably the two best pieces of advice I can offer are . . .

A GREAT TEACHER WILL ALWAYS DO WHAT IS BEST FOR HIS/HER STUDENTS!

and

GREAT TEACHERS TEACH AND DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!

 

Teaching is an awesome ride for those with the courage and perseverance to stay in the saddle, but it is not for the faint of heart, the selfish, or the lazy.  It takes a special person to be a teacher, and I pray God’s blessings will be with all those special people during the coming school year.  WELCOME BACK!

JL

©Jack Linton, July 20, 2018

This is America: It is Time We Remember Who We Are

Although I believe there must be immigration laws, I also believe human beings have a right to seek a better life for themselves and their children.  If that was not true, God would not have led the children of Israel to the Promised Land.  The Israelites were immigrants to Canaan and God blessed them.  Likewise, God has blessed America.  Except for America’s indigenous people, all American citizens are or were at some point in their family history immigrants to this nation, and like the Israelites, God has blessed this nation of immigrants greatly.  Therefore, the only rational conclusion is the pursuit of a better life by immigrants is blessed in the eyes of God regardless of the self-righteous tantrums we throw or the vilifying mud we sling.

One of the most important documents in the creation of this nation was the Declaration of Independence, and that document clearly outlines three “unalienable rights” that are given to all human beings by God our Creator:  life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  The Declaration of Independence also declares the sole purpose of government is to protect the “unalienable rights” of all human beings.  It does not specify Americans, Hispanics, or any other nationality or ethnic group.  Through this document, the wisdom of our founding fathers speaks in support of all human beings.  It is clear in its message, a message echoed by the inscription on the Statue of Liberty, “Give me your tired, your poor; your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,” that the United States was founded by believers in freedom and believers in the inherent right of all human beings to pursue a better life.  Therefore, the migration of families seeking a better life –  should not be construed – cannot be construed – a criminal offense if Americans believe in the values on which our founding fathers established this nation.

Of course, known criminals should be turned away as well as those not willing to work for the American dream.  Such people are not immigrants seeking a better life; they are cancers that rightfully should be denied access to our nation.  However, there are many many more immigrants who, if given a chance, would prove a benefit to the nation.  In a nation, struggling to find people who want to work, immigrants are a proven workforce that could strengthen this nation’s economy.

Unfortunately, presently, we are so focused on the cancers, so afraid of the boogey men our government has created, it is unlikely immigrants will get a fair shake anytime soon.  Such punitive action as removing innocent children from immigrant parents is likely to become more common in coming months, which will do nothing more than feed a domestic cancer that further divides, tarnishes, and shames our great nation.  Labeling all immigrants as criminals and separating innocent children from their parents is barbaric and tells the world that America, built on the premise of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, has sadly morphed into a nation living a lie.

Everyone has an opinion about immigration, and in most cases, there is an underlying truth in each of those opinions, but regardless, Americans cannot lose sight that immigration is a human issue in which there is a moral obligation to not only be cautious but compassionate as well.  Immigration, especially the separation of immigrate children from their parents, is not a conservative versus liberal issue.  It is not a Democrat versus Republican issue.  It is a human rights issue that no American can afford to sit back and ignore or blindly support inhumane policies and practices.

Our forefathers understood immigrants to this nation were the nation’s backbone.  They founded America on that backbone, they embraced those no one else wanted, and they stood their ground against tyranny to protect human rights.  Immigration has always been and continues to be a human rights issue.  It is an issue where Americans, especially Christians, must separate themselves from the jaws of politics and stand up for what is humanly right –  They must do what Jesus would do!  Immigration and its solutions are complex, but practices such as separating children from their parents as punishment for crossing the border into the United States is not a complex issue; it is simply morally wrong and should be stopped immediately.  This is America, and it is time we remember who we are and act accordingly.

JL

©Jack Linton, June 18, 2018

Guns Do Not Kill People?

Guns do not kill people;
A gun on a table never harmed anyone;
People kill people!
Nevertheless, nothing is ever done.
Lives are lost –
Too many lives ARE lost,
Because we fear the loss of our guns.

But did you know?

Airplanes don’t kill people when they crash;
An airplane in a hangar never harmed anyone;
People – pilot error – kill people!
Nevertheless, we mandate air safety regulations.
Lives are saved –
Not all lives, but many lives ARE saved,
And regulations have not resulted in loss of airplanes.

Automobiles do not kill people in collisions;
An automobile left in a garage never harmed anyone;
People – driver error – kill people!
Nevertheless, we mandate and install seat belts.
Lives are saved –
Not all lives, but many lives ARE saved,
And seat belts have not resulted in loss of automobiles.

Trains do not kill people at railroad crossings;
A train parked in the train yard never harmed anyone;
People – engineer error or careless drivers – kill people!
Nevertheless, we mandate and install crossing gates.
Lives are saved –
Not all lives, but many lives ARE saved,
And crossing gates have not resulted in loss of trains.

Guns don’t kill people;
A gun on a table never harmed anyone;
People kill people!
Nevertheless, we refuse to mandate new gun regulations.
Lives could be saved –
Not all lives, but many lives COULD BE saved, but
For the sake of the gun, we forsake the life we might have SAVED.

JL

©Jack Linton, May 20, 2018
Continue reading