One of my favorite days of the year is finally here – THE GREAT HALLOWEEN SLEEPOVER! Every Halloween Wicked Mawmaw and Diabolical Pawpaw (yours truly!) host the grandgoblins for a night of food, candy, scary movies, food, candy, and more candy. The goal is to deprive them of sleep by showing scary movies all night, stuff them with pizza and hot dogs, let them eat all the candy and popcorn they want, and come morning, send them home to their parents sleep deprived and cranked up on sugar. Could a night be more fun and diabolical?
It’s an all night rug-rat party! From 7:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. the grandgoblins rule the roost. The rules are simple. They are forbidden to bite or maim each other, they cannot sit in Diabolical Pawpaw’s chair unless they are curled up in his lap, they cannot go outside and torture the animals, they are forbidden to tinkle on the floor in the bath of horrors, but most of all, they are required to have a good time. Parents can come, but they are not welcome if they are picky about how much pizza, hot dogs, and candy their child eats; worried about their child getting sticky, wet, or egged; or they are a stickler for their child getting a good night’s rest. This night belongs to the kids and the grandparents. However, Wicked Mawmaw and I are not insensitive to the parents; we do provide each child with a barf bag.
The event kicks off with the Witches Pit of Fire complete with ghost stories and roasted ghost droppings. From there, it is twelve hours of non-stop mayhem. Movies to make your flesh crawl, things that go crash in the night, boogeymen hiding behind doors, and bloated tummies are the norm. There is plenty of Diabolical Pawpaw’s Atomic Fallout Popcorn to munch on during the movies, and in between there is the highlight of the evening – Wicked Mawmaw’s Oven Dung Cookies! She was lucky to get them baked this year before the yellow tape went up around the oven. We are not sure if the tape marks a crime scene for another half-baked goblin, or if it simply restricts access to the oven as it undergoes conversion to a crematorium.
I can’t wait until Friday night! I have filed the dog’s toenails, painted the cat black, invited the most detestable goons and goblins, sawdust has been poured on the floor, and special guest appearances by childhood’s greatest nightmares have been arranged. The setting is set for the perfect night of fright. I can already hear the screams – oh what music to my ears!
©Jack Linton, October 26, 2017