Tag Archives: being offended

“Baby, It’s Cold Outside” and Other Potentially Offensive Classics

Once again those with time on their hands and nothing better to do have found a reason to be offended.  The latest episode from the “I am miserable – let’s make everyone else miserable as well” crew has them at odds with Frank Loesser’s 1944 flirtatious, call and response song, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.”  In the era of MeToo where any flirtation is a dangerous game, such offense can be expected, but pulling classic standards people have innocently enjoyed for over seventy years into the debate is a stretch at best.  Now before someone gets their panties in a wad and wants to hang me by my thumbs for being insensitive, please listen close.  No one is saying MeToo is without merit – of course, it has merit, and power to those women who stand up to being victimized and manipulated, but when a simple playful tune is depicted as a vicious “date rape” song, the movement may be reaching a bit too far.

Granted, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” may be offensive to some people, and if so, in a nation of free citizens, it is their individual right and responsibility to turn the channel on the radio or television or boycott what offends them.  However, there is no reason for them to assume it is my problem as well?   Personally, I see the song as a silly, fun little song written to instill a happy warm feeling and memories of youthful playful banter.  Any interpretation beyond that is going to extremes.  Unfortunately, in our society, finding offense with any and everything has become common practice, and there appears to be little relief in sight for the foreseeable future.  The day will come when other classics such as The Grinch, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, and “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” will come under scrutiny and face removal from radio and television for being offensive to someone.  After all, America’s new creed is “If I am offended, you should be offended as well.”

Other Potentially Offensive Classics:

The Grinch:

A delightful story of a mean-spirited green creature who finds the joy of Christmas.  Unfortunately, in our society there are those who might see a darker side.  The offended are likely to see a despicable green creature who has his creepy eye on an innocent little Who child along with numerous other wicked transgressions.  An ASPCA NIGHTMARE, the green goon ties his poor little dog to a mountainous sled and uses a whip to force him to pull the sled to the top of a mountain.  The sinister Grinch also humiliates the poor little dog by tying a reindeer antler on his head.  AND, if that is not enough to rattle offensive genes, he is a glorified villain who impersonates Santa Claus and steals Christmas!   Oh my!  The offensive horror of it all!

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer:

This is a cute, fun, tongue in cheek Christmas novelty song.  However, you can bet your eggnog, this song is on someone’s offended radar!  There is no way a song about an elderly lady whose family spikes her eggnog, lets her stagger home drunk through the snow alone, and does not bother to check on her until the next morning isn’t on someone’s offended list!  Did the family care she had “Claus marks” on her neck, or were they in on the dirty deed with Santa?  If that isn’t enough to get the offended juices flowing, Grandpa should really ring someone’s bell!  Instead of mourning poor Grandma, Grandpa chugs beer, gambles, and watches football on television.  If that is not enough dysfunction in one family to set the offended meter squawking, how about the part where the songwriter suggests Santa shouldn’t play with elves?  That is blatant discrimination against little and short people!  The “League against the Belittlement of Elves, Dwarfs, Fairies, and Short People” (LBEDFSP) are overdue to jump all over this offensive gem!

AND, let us not forget the most offensive child’s story of all time . . . .

 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs:

This Disney fairytale tells the story of good (Snow White) triumphing over evil (the wicked queen).  However, this is exactly the kind of story those who carry the offended torch love to assassinate.  If a classic song such as “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” wobbles touchy-feely orbs, then the story of Snow White has got to be on an offended list somewhere.  A young girl living in the same house and sleeping in the same room with seven little men must have someone’s “let’s find something to be stupid about” radar spinning.  After all, the dwarfs are sexists and guilty of slave labor; Snow White cleans their house and mends their clothes.  How can anyone argue a story about a young girl living in sin with seven men (little or otherwise), gets drugged, and wakes up to find her prince charming is anything but a sexist date rape story!  How can anyone not be offended by Disney?  God save America from such perversion!

All this might make a person want to swear off eggnog and join a convent, but as for me, I say, “Dang!  BABY, IT’S COLD OUTSIDE!”

JL

©Jack Linton, December 15, 2018

Strategies Guaranteed to Keep You from being Offended

Offended

Where is the lighthouse we once called sanity?
Its beacon unseen to eyes searching the sea,
Lost in a storm of fashionable outrage,
Blinding our perspective of reality.

In a world overripe with self-indulgence,
Where victim status is gratification,
Exquisite tender feelings the vehicle
Nourishing and qualifying existence.

Victimized sensibilities adopted;
Allowing acceptance to the human fold.
Meaningless lives granted credibility
By simply uttering “I am offended.”

In a society quick to place blame, celebrate dysfunction, and revere hyper-sensitivities, people embrace the neurosis of being offended as their link to humanity. They bludgeon the “Golden Rule” into self-gratification – “do unto me as I would have you do unto me.” They claim victim status although it is their pursuit of gratification and their paranoia with personal insecurities that contribute most to that status. They seek approval through martyring their beliefs and principles. Without universal public acknowledgement and approval, their lives have little meaning or value; they feel ignored, isolated, and even violated. “I am offended,” is their cry for attention, acceptance, and standing; it is what makes them feel alive and human.

We live in a culture of indignant sufferers; people who are self-proclaimed victims. In today’s society, it is fashionable to find offense with everything, especially different perspectives on life, different lifestyles, and different beliefs. It has become mandatory for people to walk on egg shells and instantly cease and discontinue any activity that might send some self-ordained victim into an indignant rage. As a result, we are trapped in an ever spinning dance of political correctness where we are pressed into a corner until we give up and reward the infantile cry of the offended with the concessions they demand. There is no longer any rhyme or reason to these affronts other than he who cries loudest gets his way.

Of course, there are those who will argue the whine of the offended is not about self-gratification, but rather, it is a cry for compassion and sensitivity. Hogwash!  In the mass produced sensitivity hysteria of today’s society, there are few exceptions where being offended is not the intentional pursuit of self-gratification or the result of insecurities surrounding personal views and beliefs. A person secure in his beliefs does not need the acknowledgement or assurance of others nor does he need to bring attention to himself to lend standing to his principles. He does not scour the sea looking for a lighthouse beacon or a lifeboat as a savior; he is safe and secure in who he is and what he believes. He is not offended by those who do not share his feelings, beliefs, or views. He simply smiles, gives them a warm pat on the back, and goes about his business thinking, “Bless their hearts.”

However, for most people, it is difficult to avoid getting sucked into the world of the offended. Americans have mastered the art of wearing their feelings on their sleeves, and with the exception of individual heroic efforts, there is little hope our society will have the courage and will power to escape our overindulgence in self-serving gratification any time soon. We have lost our backbone to stand up to proclamations of self-righteous indignities. We are drowning in a sea of hurt feelings and entitlement. The “I am Offended” epidemic has turned us into a comedic nation of slobbering ninnies slowly rowing out to sea in a leaking lifeboat.

What we need are strategies that will restore common sense, and hopefully enable Americans to regain their backbone. With some simple strategies to follow during moments of weakness, people might be less likely to be offended. However, the best strategy or advice to help people avoid being offended comes from the Bible in Ecclesiastes 7:21-22. “Do not take to heart everything people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. For many times, also, your own heart has known that even you have cursed others.” Of course, I probably offended someone by quoting the Bible. But then again, we have to start somewhere. We need to stop looking out to sea for the lighthouse beacon. We need to use some common sense and look to the shore for the light before we are lost beyond the horizon.

Strategies Guaranteed to Keep You from being Offended

  1. “Stop it” Strategy: Stop looking for ways to be offended. If you look, you will find, so STOP IT! Being offended is not worth the stress it causes;
  2. “Grow Up” Strategy: Quit whining about being offended! Grow up, and get over it! Being offended is a personal monkey shifted onto someone else’s shoulders! Unfortunately, lately, society has been more than willing to take on everybody’s monkey. Just because you are offended doesn’t mean you are right. All it means is that like everyone else you have an opinion;
  3. “Turn it off” Strategy: If something offends you, Turn the page; Turn it off; Turn your head, or Turn a deaf ear! Do whatever you need to do to focus elsewhere. If you dwell on it, you must enjoy it! If you enjoy it, what’s the problem?
  4. “Shrug” Strategy: If you are offended and can’t do anything about it, shrug it off and move on. If you have no control over something, why worry about it unless you just like hearing yourself whine. If that is the case, join a country band or a political party;
  5. “It is not Personal” Strategy: Being offended is a personal problem, so quit trying to involve the world in your problem! Stop taking everything so personal! Quit trying to be a victim! The odds are that whatever you find offensive was not directed at you personally! Even if it was, there is little you can do about it, so move on. Only an extremely minuscule percentage of the people in the world even know you exist, so spend your time on the people who “float your boat” and you float theirs, and ignore the rest;
  6. “Be Humble” Strategy:   Everything is not about you. You are not the center of the universe! Be humble with your opinions and beliefs. Your opinions and beliefs are yours; they do not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of the management, your neighbor, or the human race as a whole. God loves diversity; that is why each of us is different;
  7. “Don’t Be a Ninny” Strategy: Don’t be a ninny and think and act like you are the only person in the world with beliefs and opinions that matter. Only a nitwit or someone born in a hay filled barn with no ventilation is shocked and upset to learn there are people who have different views and opinions than they do. Face it, the world is full of different people with different personalities, beliefs, habits, life styles, and opinions; unfortunately, everybody cannot be a perfect copy of you;
  8. “Don’t Judge” Strategy:   Resist judging! People who are slow to judge are not easily offended;
  9. “Be in Control” Strategy: No one can offend you unless you allow them to offend you. People who are easily offended are easily manipulated and controlled. When you allow yourself to be offended, you are allowing someone to control your emotions and your life; and
  10. “Chill” Strategy: When you get a super-duper “That offends me wedgie” over what someone said or did, take a chill pill, relax, and refer to any of the nine strategies above. Life is too short to worry about things you cannot control, so find a source of gratification that doesn’t require the approval of others, re-assess your personal views and beliefs, or simply relax and enjoy the show!

I hope you find these strategies helpful, but if you insist on being offended, I have a leaking lifeboat I will loan you complete with a single oar locked to the starboard side. When you make it to the lighthouse, let me know.

JL

©Jack Linton, November 15, 2015