Tag Archives: relationships

My Top Five Christmas Movies

This Christmas season, I have watched a top twelve Christmas movie list on television, and read at least two other Christmas movie lists online.  There are probably a hundred or more Christmas movies to choose from when making such a list, but if you look closely, most of the lists contain the same twenty to twenty-five movies.  Usually, the only difference between list A, B, or C is how those 20+ movies are ranked.  However, my Christmas movie list is different in two ways: (1) it only lists the top five Christmas movies of all time, and (2) it is based entirely on my preferences and opinion.  If you agree with my top five movies, fantastic, and if not, it’s too cold to go jump in a lake, so instead, go watch your favorite movies and forget mine.  Here are my top five movies beginning with number five:

#5        How the Grinch Stole Christmas:

The story is about a green creepy/goofy looking monster who hates everybody including himself.  He sets out to steal Whoville’s Christmas, thinking by doing so, he will take their joy from them.  Of course, he is wrong.  His only salvation is Cindy Lou Who, who manages to thaw his cold heart and bring happiness to his dismal life.  As a child, I enjoyed the thirty-minute animated television special that aired at Christmas every year, but when Jim Carrey brought the Grinch to life on the big screen, I was amazed all over again.  The movie version with its occasional naughty innuendoes was made as much for adults as kids, and it succeeded on both fronts.  Jim Carrey’s over-the-top performance was fun to watch, and the visuals were stunning.  Simply put, the movie looked, acted, and felt like a holiday classic.  It did not disappoint.

#4        Elf:

I am not a big Will Ferrell fan, but his role as Buddy in Elf was exceptional.  I am not saying exceptional in an Academy Award sense, but extraordinarily fun and entertaining for kids and adults alike.   As a human raised by elves at the North Pole, the role of Buddy fit Ferrell like a glove.  His trademark off-the-cuff antics, which are sometimes hilarious, but often just miss the mark, were perfect for his role as a lovable human-elf in search of his identity.  His innocent childlike behavior in a world of Christmas commercialization was funny, charming, and magical.  Elf is a holiday classic that should be on everyone’s watch list.

#3        A Christmas Story:

One of my all-time favorite holiday movies is A Christmas Story!  The story, set in the 1940’s, centers around Ralphie and his quest for a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas.  Throughout the story, everyone he turns to for help to get the gun, even Santa Claus, tells him, “You’ll shoot your eye out.”  Based on a story by Jean Shepherd, the movie is a trip back in time before X-box, PlayStation, Star Wars, and cell phones.  It was a time when kids played outside, and watched Westerns on television where the good guys and buy guys fought for supremacy with six-guns and lever-action rifles instead of laser swords.  In A Christmas Story, Ralphie faces school bullies, learns the horrible truth about secret decoder rings, has his mouth washed out with soap for saying bad words he learned from his father, and through it all, never loses sight of his perfect Christmas gift.  This movie is a slice of life from a bygone era, but it contains everything that makes Christmas special – family, memories, and the spirit of being served Chinese duck for Christmas dinner.  The kids may not fully appreciate the significance of playing outside or getting “double dog dared,” but this is a Christmas movie the whole family should watch together.

#2        The Polar Express:

The number two movie on my Christmas Holiday list, The Polar Express, certainly deserves the honor.  The movie stars Tom Hanks and is filmed in “performance-action animation,” which results in a breathtaking movie spectacle.  Hanks and the visual beauty of the film are reasons enough to see it, but I simply love the story!  The story is about a young boy who is beginning to doubt there is a Santa Claus, and on Christmas Eve catches a mysterious train, The Polar Express, to the North Pole.  On the train, he meets other children like him, a sometimes-cranky conductor (Tom Hanks, who also plays several other roles in the movie), and a hobo.  One of the most visually impressive scenes in the movie (there are many) is the singing waiters.  The first time I saw the movie at home, I stopped the video at least three times to watch that scene again and again; it is simply amazing.  Although Santa Claus appears in the movie, the movie is not about Santa.  The Polar Express is about bravery, friendship, and the spirit of Christmas!  It is a classic that should be shared yearly as a family tradition.

#1        It’s a Wonderful Life:

The Christmas movie that tops almost everyone’s list is It’s a Wonderful Life starring Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed.  It is the perfect Christmas masterpiece for the holidays.  The story is about an ambitious young man who sacrifices his dreams to ensure the dreams of others.  Continually hounded by miserly Mr. Potter, George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) fights for the right of his neighbors to live a good life, and not struggle in the squalor of Potter’s tenant houses.  Unfortunately, life does not always treat even the best people fairly, and after a disastrous incident, George wishes he had never been born.  With the help of a guardian angel, George learns how his life has impacted the lives of people he loves, and they are not complete without him nor is he complete without them.  It’s a Wonderful Life has sacrifice, redemption, salvation, friendship, angels, and triumph over evil.  It is the root for the good guy, boo the bad guy, feel good movie of all time regardless of the season in which it is watched.  It is the movie that shows us how to get our wings.  It’s a Wonderful life is the epitome of the Christmas spirit; therefore, it is my number one Christmas movie of all time!

Whether you have a Christmas list of your own, or use one someone else has put together, the bottom line is grab someone you love or want to make friends with, and pop your favorite Christmas movie in the DVD and share the Christmas spirit.  I double dog dare you!

Merry Christmas,

JL

©Jack Linton, December 22, 2017

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How School Makes You a Better Lover

There are many things true about school, but the most common truism is that school prepares you for life. Not only do academics prepare you for career choices, but what you learn about getting along with others can put you on the right track to building lifelong relationships. Beginning with the first day of kindergarten, teachers teach relationship skills that are so crucial to a happy life. Both boys and girls are taught how to get along and respect one another, but the lessons taught may actually be more important for the boys. Through their grade school lessons, boys learn there is a direct connection to getting what they want, such as recess, and learning to get along with others, especially when dealing with girls. So, if they pay close attention, the lessons will serve them well later in life.

This is especially true as boys grow older and begin to take an interest in girls, which eventually leads to a young man and young woman making the ultimate relationship commitment – marriage. During the first few months of marriage life is complete bliss for the couple; they are inseparable, and they cannot get enough of each other. However, marriage like chocolate pie can grow a bit bland over time unless a little whip cream and strawberries are thrown in for good measure. Yet, even the best chocolate pudding, the flakiest crust, and the freshest strawberries are not always enough. Sometimes it takes refocusing on the relationship itself, which the young man may see as requiring a secret code decipherer to make sense of the relationship. But, it doesn’t have to be complicated. There are two secrets to getting a relationship back on track: focus the relationship on what is most important – HER, and revisit the lessons about working with others learned in grade school. That may sound a bit simplistic, but it’s no secret that what you learn in grade school can actually make you a better lover.

 Grade School Lessons that Make a Better Lover

  1. In school you learn to pay attention to the details: Wives often complain their husbands do not pay attention to the details that matter. Although guys can sometimes be pig-headed about it, deep down they know that the only details that really matter are the details embraced by the women in their lives. In school, guys learn that details such as recess and naps are not on the table until they take care of the details the teacher (female) believes to be important first. That priority is reinforced by mama at home, and by the time a guy is married he understands fully “the devil is in the details,” which simply means he can prolong his misery or he can take care of the details as his teacher, mama, or wife sees them and live a happy life. That is unless he likes things such as recess and naps and love making withheld indefinitely;
  2. In school you learn to communicate: The second lesson guys learn in school is to listen to the teacher if they expect to go outside for recess. Although many males struggle with this one throughout their lives, the same principle applies to quality and quantity in their love life. In school an expectation of recess meant listening to the teacher, so it should not be a surprise that in marriage an expectation of extracurricular favors is often preceded by listening to the wife. In fact, studies have shown that listening may be the number one cure for bedtime headaches in a marriage. For men, the best prescription for a happy love life is to take one “I listen and she talks” pill every evening when he gets home from work;
  3. In school you learn to share: One of the most important lessons guys learn in school is sharing. I hated sharing my colors in grade school, but I learned early that the only way I could get a bite of Betty Sue’s chocolate pudding her mother always packed with her lunch was to let Betty Sue use my favorite blue crayon. The problem was she never gave it back; she said it was only fair since I never gave her chocolate pudding back either. That was my first lesson in the universal law of sharing whether it be in grade school or marriage – what is hers is hers and what is mine is hers. When it comes to male/female relationships, this is the one universal law that trumps all other universal laws;
  4. In school you learn to keep moving/stay active; you learn to keep things exciting: This is a major survival skill for a man to learn in a marriage. Wives expect an active mate who takes out the garbage, feeds the cat, harvests the goldfish poo, paints the kitchen, mows the lawn, walks the dog, and doesn’t think about settling down with the newspaper until the “honey do” list is complete and he has asked at least three times if there is anything else she would like for him to do. Wives expect an exciting mate, which translates into someone who brings her flowers, buys her new furniture, surprises her with heirloom jewelry, a cruise, or a new car periodically – say like weekly or every other week at the least. This is the one item learned in school that goes the farthest in promoting a healthy love life – at least periodically;
  5. In school you learn to stay awake: This one goes hand in hand with communication. A guy should NEVER allow himself to drift off to sleep during communication time! Never mind that she may be on the third or fourth telling cycle, that you lost interest after the part where her girlfriend got a new boob job, that you could care less if her mother has an infected cold sore inside her upper lip, or that the price of sanitary napkins have gone up for the third time in a month. The best advice for men is to pretend it’s Mrs. Cosper’s freshmen botany class and to prop their eyelids open with a pencil eraser, scotch tape, or bubble gum. Remember, if you sleep during her fun time, she will sleep during yours;
  6. In school you learn to work together and even at times accept compromise: To help boost his love life, a man must learn to compromise, compromise again, and then compromise some more. This does not mean he should do all the compromising, but if he doesn’t, he shouldn’t be surprised when his love life suffers; and
  7. In school you learn to raise your hand and wait for permission to speak: There is not a lot that needs to be said about this one. Getting permission to speak is a no brainer that all husbands must learn.

That’s it – seven simple grade school lessons guaranteed to lead to a better love life. All it takes is a guy who doesn’t mind taking the most important thing in his life – his pride – and swallowing it for forty, fifty, or if he’s really lucky sixty or more years. So, guys, the next time your love life is not going exactly like you want it to go, remember the seven relationship lessons taught in grade school, and along with that, remember regardless of the place, time, or situation, she always comes first in everything.

JL

©Jack Linton, March 10, 2015