One of the things my wife and I said we would do when we retired was go on a cruise. We finally accomplished that goal in April when we joined another couple on a seven-day cruise out of New Orleans to the Bahamas. Our biggest fear was my wife would get sick during the trip from the motion of the boat, and I would end up pushing her around the ship in a wheelchair as I have on two occasions at Disney World. The first time was after she rode the Tower of Terror, which with her vertigo issues was dumb on my part for letting her ride. I always wondered why Disney has so many wheelchairs available at their top thrill rides; now I know. However, not willing to settle for dumb, on our next trip, I convinced her motion sickness was all in her head and she could ride Thunder Mountain. That elevated me to the stupidity level, and for the second time I had to wheel her across Disney in search of a cool place to throw up and lay down for a spell. So, when it came to a cruise, she wisely tuned me out, and visited her doctor for help. I have no idea what kind of chemical wonder drug is on the patch he gave her to stick behind her ear, but it worked! Even during a few wobbly moments when the boat rocked a little more than usual, she held her lunch and we had a wheelchairless fantastic time.
I was amazed at the organization of such a huge operation. For a ship with 3,900 passengers and over 1,500 crew, I couldn’t believe how smoothly everything worked from boarding, to room service, to activities, to getting everyone off the boat in an orderly and time efficient manner when the cruise was over. When it came to customer relations, I can think of several local businesses that would do well to take the cruise and study how customers should be treated, especially if return business is expected. The only thing that was slightly disconcerting at times was the language barrier that existed when trying to communicate with ship staff. Most of the ship personnel we encountered were Indian with a few Germans, Swedes, and Italians thrown in for good measure. Sometimes their less than perfect English and our Southern drawl and language bias ears conflicted. That didn’t happen often and when it did, the ship employee slowed down and listened more intently and patiently to our question. When dealing with the customer, they never lost sight of their commitment to provide a smooth and enjoyable experience. They were extremely friendly and helpful. They did not exhibit an attitude they were doing us a favor to wait on us like so many local store employees often do. The employees on the Carnival Dream acted like they enjoyed their jobs and were genuinely appreciative we had chosen their ship for our vacation. Some of our home town businesses could learn a lot from them.
Food! I had always heard there was plenty to eat on a cruise, and I was not disappointed in the quantity. Italian, Mongolian, Asian, Pizza, Guy Fieri Burgers, salads, deserts, and ice cream were available throughout the day, and at night there was fine dining in the ship’s more elegant restaurants. Overall, the fine dining experience was excellent with a waiter who called you by name while serving your table each evening. The restaurant food was excellent, but I would strongly advise against the lasagna. The Indian chef did not have a clue how to prepare lasagna, but he more than made up for that disaster with the prime rib and steamed mussels he prepared the last night of the cruise. However, my favorite food on the cruise was the soft serve ice cream! I stopped for a cone of soft serve vanilla or strawberry every time I passed a machine, which was frequently. I don’t know where my wife can find one of those machines, but after this cruise, it is number one on my Christmas list.
Shore excursions are a big part of a cruise, and we took full advantage of our time off the boat. Our first stop was Key West where we opted out of a paid excursion and chose to tour the town on our own. The weather was in the 80s but otherwise perfect. We had no idea where we were going when we left the ship, but after following the wives through countless tee-shirt, trinkets, and beach bag shops, we found a guitar store where my good friend and I were allowed by our wives to browse for a solid five minutes. From there we toured Earnest Hemingway’s house, and ended the afternoon with key-lime pie at a little joint off the beaten path. After the pie, we continued our leisurely stroll through the streets of Key West. We were in no hurry until we realized we were in danger of missing our ship’s departure time. We made it, but we were close to becoming Key West residents. The ship was scheduled to depart at 4:30 p.m.; we made it back to the ship at 4:20 p.m. In our minds, the only thing that mattered was we made it, but from the rolling eyes of the ship crew members who hurriedly ushered us aboard, I am not so sure, they felt the same way.
The second stop was at Freeport in the Bahamas where we were introduced to driving on the wrong side of the road by a very lively 75-year-old bus driver. Freeport was one of the saddest places I have ever visited. As we rode to Paradise Cove, our destination for the day, I was struck by the poverty of the area. Most of the homes were run down if not completely crumbling. Weathered blue tarps ripped into threads by the wind and rain covered many homes, a reminder of the destruction tropical storms and hurricanes brought to the little island of 40,000 people. However, listening to the bus driver, you would have thought he lived in paradise. He did not shy from talking about the poor conditions, yet he spoke with pride and hope for his island home. At one point, he pointed out his home as we drove by, which was humble, but a castle compared to his neighbors. He dropped us off at the cove where we spent the day relaxing on a small beach and snorkeling in crystal clear blue-green water. What struck me most about Freeport was how appreciative the bus driver and the adults and teens who operated the Blue Lagoon facilities were that we had chosen to spend our time and money with them. Not once, did I see a frown in Freeport.
The third stop was Nassau where we took a ferry to Blue Lagoon Island. Like Paradise Cove in Freeport, the water was crystal clear and changed from blues to greens throughout the day depending on the light reflecting on the water. We relaxed on the beach and tubed in the shallow water and enjoyed a buffet lunch as part of the excursion package. A major attraction of the lagoon was swimming with the dolphins (an extra charge, which we did not choose to pay). With the assistance of guides, paying customers were treated to an afternoon of swimming and playing with the beautiful and amazingly intelligent animals. If I go back, I will spend the extra money to swim with those beautiful creatures. The people I watched in the water with them were having too much fun for me not to give it a try. Swimming with the dolphins in the Blue Lagoon is now on my bucket list.
As much fun as we had on the ship and the shore excursions, I must admit, the ship itself reminded me of a prison. A very relaxing and beautiful prison but confining nevertheless. For me, it will never replace a cross country camping trip in my travel trailer. I enjoy open spaces, and there is little of that on a cruise ship. However, I enjoyed the food, the live entertainment, the shore excursions, the company of good friends, and the soft serve ice cream enough to go again at the first opportunity. However, the biggest reason I will continue to take cruises is my wife. Not once during the trip did I have to push her in a wheelchair! By itself, that made for a very enjoyable trip and gives me the motivation to return to the high seas as soon as possible to continue my adventures on a floating luxury shopping mall.
©Jack Linton, May 4, 2018