Once again those with time on their hands and nothing better to do have found a reason to be offended. The latest episode from the “I am miserable – let’s make everyone else miserable as well” crew has them at odds with Frank Loesser’s 1944 flirtatious, call and response song, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” In the era of MeToo where any flirtation is a dangerous game, such offense can be expected, but pulling classic standards people have innocently enjoyed for over seventy years into the debate is a stretch at best. Now before someone gets their panties in a wad and wants to hang me by my thumbs for being insensitive, please listen close. No one is saying MeToo is without merit – of course, it has merit, and power to those women who stand up to being victimized and manipulated, but when a simple playful tune is depicted as a vicious “date rape” song, the movement may be reaching a bit too far.
Granted, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” may be offensive to some people, and if so, in a nation of free citizens, it is their individual right and responsibility to turn the channel on the radio or television or boycott what offends them. However, there is no reason for them to assume it is my problem as well? Personally, I see the song as a silly, fun little song written to instill a happy warm feeling and memories of youthful playful banter. Any interpretation beyond that is going to extremes. Unfortunately, in our society, finding offense with any and everything has become common practice, and there appears to be little relief in sight for the foreseeable future. The day will come when other classics such as The Grinch, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, and “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” will come under scrutiny and face removal from radio and television for being offensive to someone. After all, America’s new creed is “If I am offended, you should be offended as well.”
Other Potentially Offensive Classics:
A delightful story of a mean-spirited green creature who finds the joy of Christmas. Unfortunately, in our society there are those who might see a darker side. The offended are likely to see a despicable green creature who has his creepy eye on an innocent little Who child along with numerous other wicked transgressions. An ASPCA NIGHTMARE, the green goon ties his poor little dog to a mountainous sled and uses a whip to force him to pull the sled to the top of a mountain. The sinister Grinch also humiliates the poor little dog by tying a reindeer antler on his head. AND, if that is not enough to rattle offensive genes, he is a glorified villain who impersonates Santa Claus and steals Christmas! Oh my! The offensive horror of it all!
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer:
This is a cute, fun, tongue in cheek Christmas novelty song. However, you can bet your eggnog, this song is on someone’s offended radar! There is no way a song about an elderly lady whose family spikes her eggnog, lets her stagger home drunk through the snow alone, and does not bother to check on her until the next morning isn’t on someone’s offended list! Did the family care she had “Claus marks” on her neck, or were they in on the dirty deed with Santa? If that isn’t enough to get the offended juices flowing, Grandpa should really ring someone’s bell! Instead of mourning poor Grandma, Grandpa chugs beer, gambles, and watches football on television. If that is not enough dysfunction in one family to set the offended meter squawking, how about the part where the songwriter suggests Santa shouldn’t play with elves? That is blatant discrimination against little and short people! The “League against the Belittlement of Elves, Dwarfs, Fairies, and Short People” (LBEDFSP) are overdue to jump all over this offensive gem!
AND, let us not forget the most offensive child’s story of all time . . . .
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs:
This Disney fairytale tells the story of good (Snow White) triumphing over evil (the wicked queen). However, this is exactly the kind of story those who carry the offended torch love to assassinate. If a classic song such as “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” wobbles touchy-feely orbs, then the story of Snow White has got to be on an offended list somewhere. A young girl living in the same house and sleeping in the same room with seven little men must have someone’s “let’s find something to be stupid about” radar spinning. After all, the dwarfs are sexists and guilty of slave labor; Snow White cleans their house and mends their clothes. How can anyone argue a story about a young girl living in sin with seven men (little or otherwise), gets drugged, and wakes up to find her prince charming is anything but a sexist date rape story! How can anyone not be offended by Disney? God save America from such perversion!
All this might make a person want to swear off eggnog and join a convent, but as for me, I say, “Dang! BABY, IT’S COLD OUTSIDE!”
©Jack Linton, December 15, 2018